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Posted by on 2013 May 26 | 2 comments

Behind the Curtain with Vaschon

Behind the Curtain with Vaschon

(Backstage … somewhere in a dark corner during the 375th year…)

[Vaschon’s Crypt, Dungeon of Doom]
The evil secret place you always heard about but were afraid to visit. You also see a mammoth, a mammoth, a mammoth, a burnt coffin, a mammoth and some war plans.
Also here: Kaith Partani Jomay, Captain Jourok, Prince Vorclaf, Opreina Moracul Zoranyl, Velmix, Prince Fayne, Viceroy Egolan, GameMaster Vaschon, and Grishnok.
Obvious exits: none.

>’Ok, we have a problem.
You say, “Ok, we have a problem.”

Votary Wyren just arrived.

>say }wyren You’re late again.
You say to Wyren, “You’re late again.”

Wyren says, “My moonbeam expired and I disintigrated.”

Jomay rolls her eyes.

Jourok gives a rumbling belly laugh.

Grishnok says something in Goblic.

>’Alright folks, settle down.
You say, “Alright folks, settle down.”

Vorclaf says to Wyren, “Did you check your favors? Don’t forget what happened with the last few characters.”

Wyren says to Vorclaf, “Yeah, I’ve made that mistake -twice- now.”

Wyren rolls his eyes.

Jomay hums a haunting melody.

Velmix just stands there.

>’Come on everyone, we have a problem, the war isn’t going the way our script shows.
You say, “Come on everyone, we have a problem, the war isn’t going the way our script shows.”

>tap plan
You tap some war plans that are on the ground.

Jourok says, “Me knows… those damn players, always messing with me scripts. Ya figure da barnacles would be gets da picture dey can’t change diddly.”

Zoranyl asks Jourok, “Do you have to talk like that while we’re up here?”

Jourok says to Zoranyl, “KMA, I get into the part.”

Wyren laughs at Jourok.

A scraggly parrot flaps in. With a wicked gleam in its eye, it positions itself above Wyren’s head. Squawking loudly, it deposits a momento of its visit on their head, whistles a few notes and flaps off.

Wyren removes some parrot droppings from himself.

Jourok says to Wyren, “Take dat ya needle-nosed nibblet.”

Jomay rolls her eyes.

Vorclaf sighs.

>l
[Vaschon’s Castle, Dungeon of Doom]
The evil secret place you always heard about but were afraid to visit. You also see a mammoth, a mammoth, a mammoth, a burnt coffin, a mammoth and some war plans.
Also here: Kaith Partani Jomay, Captain Jourok, Prince Vorclaf, Opreina Moracul Zoranyl, Velmix, Prince Fayne, Viceroy Egolan, GameMaster Vaschon, Grishnok and Votary Wyren.
Obvious exits: none.

>get plan
>You struggle with some war plan’s great weight but can’t quite lift it!
[Roundtime 5 sec.]

Wyren says, “I want promotion to Scion and my own collector card.”

>lo plan
On the cover reads, “Fool the players, they can’t change anything.”

>re plan
Some war plans read, “Don’t forget to follow the script.”

>’What’s going on?
You ask, “What’s going on?”

Egolan says, “Maybe it was fate…”

Vorclaf stares at Egolan.
Velmix glares at Egolan.
Jourok slaps Egolan.

Jomay says, “Not with the fate crap again.”

Egolan says, “Bite me, it’s a good RP tool, and all I see you doing is humming some silly tune.”

>sigh
You sigh.

Grishnok says something in Goblic.

Fayne picks up a Pepsi.

>glan Fayne
You glance at Fayne, a male Elf.

Wyren puts his shining gaharzen in his wand belt.

>glar wy
You glare at Wyren.

>say }wyren Don’t lose that again!
You exclaim to Wyren, “Don’t lose that again!”

Wyren flips you off.

Wyren says, “You try gating troops, dealing with people who want to grave rob your clothes and remember to get rid of things you don’t want the players to have. This is stressful stuff!”

Jourok says, “Stop yer bellyachin lad, ya be given ole Jour a ‘eadache.”

>’Why don’t you all KMA, you aren’t doing anything anyway. You let a few players wipe out the outcasts troops.
You say, “Why don’t you all KMA, you aren’t doing anything anyway. You let a few players wipe out the outcasts troops.”

Egolan says to Vorclaf, “Oh now he’s going to blame -us- for that?”

Vorclaf nods to Egolan.

Fayne takes a sip of his Pepsi.

>obser
You look around, trying to appear nonchalant.

[Vaschon’s Castle, Dungeon of Doom]
The evil secret place you always heard about but were afraid to visit. You also see a mammoth, a mammoth, a mammoth, a burnt coffin, a mammoth, a scraggly parrot, and some war plans.
Also here: Kaith Partani Jomay, Captain Jourok, Prince Vorclaf, Opreina Moracul Zoranyl, Velmix, Prince Fayne, Viceroy Egolan, GameMaster Vaschon, Grishnok and Votary Wyren.
Obvious exits: none.

>lo par
You see Cleetus, a parrot.
He’s a scraggly bird with missing feathers and a chipped beak. He has a wooden left leg and his right leg is adorned with a small jeweled band. He has a small eye-patch over his right eye.

Velmix asks you, “So when are you quitting?”

>lau
You laugh!

>’Pretty soon if you all keep this up.
You say, “Pretty soon if you all keep this up.”

(Wyren just tried to bop you. Ingrate!)

Jourok walks over and punches you!

SEND[Carnage] Are you having an identity crisis over there?

>’Folks, lets cut the crap and get down to business.
You say, “Folks, lets cut the crap and get down to business.”

********OFFICIAL GAMEMASTER WARNING********
********************************************

Vaschon, this is an official warning to cease your policy-violating behavior. DragonRealms is a family game, with players of all ages and sensibilities. We do not, therefore, allow any language here which may be construed as vulgar or offensive to others, even if partially obscured by symbols. You may say what you like at home, but please do not type it!

This is your 49th warning. Most warnings beyond two will result in revocation of your playing privileges for ever-increasing periods of time, up to and including full account termination. Please refer to Simutronics policy for more information.

********OFFICIAL GAMEMASTER WARNING********
********************************************

>’What the hell? Crap is ok to say, what’s the warning for?
You ask, “What the hell? Crap is ok to say, what’s the warning for?”

Jourok laughs at you.
Jomay laughs at you.

Velmix just stands there.

Vorclaf chuckles.
Wyren falls to the ground laughing hysterically!

Grishnok asks, “Look man, you promised us a lot of things, and now the players are screwing that up, what’s the deal?”

Grishnok says, “You gave us that kewl beheading skill, but I’ve worked my reqs and I want that skin player skill.”

Jomay nods to Grishnok.

Jomay says, “In addition, we were promised that we would not have to pull these overtime hours.”

Vorclaf nods at Jomay, obviously agreeing with her views.

Vorclaf says, “Yeah dude, Jomay’s right. You’re running us ragad that’s really <censored> in the head.”

>blin
You blink.

Wyren asks, “I say we all quit, whose with me?”

Jourok says to you, “Your really tick’n me off barnacle.”

>say }Jou It’s actually ‘you are’ or -you’re- … a common mistake.
You say to Jourok, “It’s actually ‘you are’ or -you’re- … a common mistake.”

Jourok just flipped you off.
Jourok just left.

Fayne just left.
Velmix just left.

Jomay shakes her head.

say }Jomay Not you too…
Jomay just left.
Say that to who?

Grishnok just left.
Vorclaf just left.

>say Wait, what about the war?
You ask, “Wait, what about the war?”

Wyren says, “See, you should have given me that promotion.”
Wyren smirks.
Wyren just left.

Zoranyl just left.

>l
[Vaschon’s Castle, Dungeon of Doom]
The evil secret place you always heard about but were afraid to visit. You also see a mammoth, a mammoth, a mammoth, a burnt coffin, a mammoth, some war plans and a scraggly parrot.

>’Well Cleetus, looks like just you and me.
You say, “Well Cleetus, looks like just you and me.”

A scraggly parrot squawks, “Barnacles” as he ruffles his feathers and whistles a few notes.

A scraggly parrot flaps around and sails towards you. With a wicked gleam in its eye, it positions itself above your head. Squawking loudly, it deposits a momento of its visit on your head, whistles a few notes and flaps off.

>sigh
You sigh.

[Ed Note: The submission of logs rule was bent for Vaschon’s carefully presented look at what happens behind the curtain.]

Avatar

Vaschon

2 Comments

  1. I knew Vorclaf was in on it! Hey, where’s Naarg 1.0?

  2. I love this so much, I really do. Rules were meant to be bent for things like this.

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